To this day, it absolutely blows my mind that a boring, unentertaining, monotonous, and uninformative person like Scott Bass can have both his own radio show and be an editor for a publication like Surfer. Everyone seems to blame the economy and the internet for the downfall of mediums like print and radio, yet no one, especially those in management, take a good, hard look at themselves and wonder if maybe the shitty product is the reason why people are flocking towards the web. Case in point: Scott Bass.

Bass, who hosts one of the most unlistenable radio programs on the planet, is also an Editor for Surfer Magazine. So basically he not only drives people away from terrestrial radio, but he is also one of the reasons behind why people don't want to read shitty magazines anymore. People can get entertaining, informative content for free on the internet. Why would someone want to read or listen to content that is blatantly biased to favor potential and current advertisers, when people can get quality content on the internet at no cost? This is the core, fundamental flaw behind why mediums like print and radio are struggling, and sadly people running said mediums fail to realize this. I'm going off on a tangent here; back to the issue at hand.

Bass recently published a piece defining the rules of what being a “local” means, as opposed to being a “regular or a “visitor”. Bass defines a local as “anybody that started surfing his or her beaches or breaks before puberty. If you were paddling out before the appearance of your black curly fries, then you are a 'local' at or near that spot or beach generally within a 5 mile stretch up and down the coastline. If not, then you are not 'local.' You are either a 'regular' or a ' visitor.'” In other words, unless you surfed the spot as a grom, you're not a local. Period.

It gets better. Bass defines a regular as “a surfer who at some point was transient but eventually set down roots in said area, more than likely after college or some other man-making event such as war service or perhaps a two-year post-high school globe trot.” What if you've lived in the same place your entire life, but didn't start surfing until high school? You're not a local, yet you're not a regular either. Hmmm.

The ever-insightful and philosophical Bass saves the best for last. When defining a visitor, Bass says, “If you're a visitor, well, you are a visitor. You know it.” I see. A beacon of light is shown upon you whenever you're surfing a new spot, letting you know that you're a “visitor”.

The fundamental flaw with Bass, and most other “journalists” who get caught up in the whole argument regarding who is a local and what rights said local has, is the process of sticking labels on individual surfers. Why is there a need to place labels on each surfer? The only thing in this piece that Bass is right about is respect. As long as you don't snake other people's waves, and you don't drop in on people like a total kook, everything will be fine in the water. Yet here's Scott Bass, trying to stir the pot by placing labels on people as to what level of the totem pole each person is on when out in the water.

Try this concept Bass: Delete 90% of your story, leave the part in about respect, then turn your piece of shit radio show over to the professionals who know how to do it. Scott Bass, do everyone a favor and please: Just shut the fuck up already.