Deciding on a new snowboard is not easy, with many a snowboard manufacturer describing themselves as the forerunner of snowboard technology and style. Excellent, you think, now all you have to do is decide how much you can justify spending. Whilst you think about this you may as well look at the other snowboard manufacturing losers. Wait a minute! The first line you see on their page is “From our early pioneering days we have pushed snowboarding to ever greater levels.”
Eh? All advertisers have a certain artistic licence with there claims but no one can match snowboard companies in their bold yet proof less claims at being the best.
Firstly I’ll mention the more down to earth and modest sites.
Palmer
Santa Cruz
Forum
Never Summer
Ride
Rome
Atomic
Special mention to
Rossingnol with the best website. http://www.rossignol.com/US/home-snowboard.html The pages are well laid out and they include helpful videos on most of the boards.
Now for some actual claims from the less modest websites.
K2
Podium
“The best board for the buck anywhere, the Podium is best in class combining superb technology and all terrain performance and versatility for any rider.”
BitchBoards
“It is decked out with black sidewalls a metallic silver screen printed logo on both sidewalls.”
Saying they’re innovative and women specific but you’ll find a greater description on how they look rather than the technology they use.
Lib tech
Swirl Sintered UHMW Base
A long name for a base where the text description is just “Slippery like banana.” Great tech info guys.
Burton
By far the worst offender, but they are the most well know manufacturer, must have gone to their heads
Vapour
"Setting a standard that the competition can’t even fathom."
Ok…
Custom
"From jumpers to jibbers, pow slashers to cruisers—this is without a doubt one board that everyone will have a blast on."
Except those who’ve been on the Vapour we assume.
Joystick
“three-stage rocker designs don’t get more turbo-charged than this”
Supermodel
“The Channel is snowboarding’s most direct connection—focusing power through a central connection spine that evenly distributes energy for added rebound and snap.”
Mayhem
"Slow down. Just because the Mayhem™ is capable of supersonic speeds doesn’t mean you have to go that fast."
Faster than the Vapour and cheaper, brilliant. May as well go for the cheapest as they are all described as the best board.
http://global.burton.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-Burton_GLOBAL-Site/default
Then there are statements which are just bizarre.
Balancing warp speed edge control and drive with force field stability on takes-offs and landings, (Burton website)
Those Trekkies wont be able to buy a board without some techno babble.
We even put the Deuce through our Infinite Ride™ factory break-in for perfect pop that lasts longer than you will.
So they’re saying the board will outlive me? When I’m snowboarding I really don’t want to think about my life expectancy.
Slow down. Just because the Mayhem™ is capable of supersonic speeds doesn’t mean you have to go that fast.
Do not insult our intelligence.
http://global.burton.com/on/demandware.store/Sites-Burton_GLOBAL-Site/default
If you are looking for a new snowboard try to demo before you buy. If this is not possible there are plenty of good snowboard reviewers on line.
- Nathan Groves has been a keen snowboarder for 6 years, and an enthusiastic writer for even more.
