We seem to bash the folks who handle the writing for Disney’s Surfing Site quite regularly, and for good reason. They write pure rubbish. Whether it’s sharing their boring personal stories, or sharing news that everyone else knows about, or simply publishing irrelevant and drab stories, Disney’s surf site blows. Which is why when their Blonde Whale decided to write a piece bashing East Coast surfing, readers came out from hiding in droves to lay into the Blonde Whale for yet another idiotic piece, leaving nasty yet witty and hilarious comments that we’ll gladly republish for your viewing pleasure.
Here are some of the funnier comments left by readers:
Jimbrophoto wrote:
Guys guys guys... Remember why Jake is here in the first place. He was an Assistant Editor for Surfer Bro Magazine when all of a sudden Chris Mauro got fired for the mag being complete garbage.
Jake tried to rally to become the next next "great editor" of the worst current US surf mag when all of a sudden, the people in charge turned to none other than EASTERN SURF MAGAZINES's Matt Pruett and offered him the job as Surfer Editor. When he turned it down, they freaked (obviously not bad enough to do something so stupid as upgrade Jake Howard) and they hired ex-TransWorld editor Joel Patterson, leaving poor dumbsh*t Jake out cold on the street.
Somehow he weaseled in on EXPN's pathetic journey to cover every sport and this is now where he resides, writing the worst surf journalism since Scott Bass.
Notafatdouche wrote:
Are you the perez hilton of surf editorialist? I mean you have the fat, doughy, doooshbag part down pat... but purposely trying to start fires on the internet? Grow up lardass, start enjoying surfing and stop worrying about trying to measure your dong with other dudes.
Drooni wrote:
Howard, you said it yourself: "big or small, crumbly or hollow, it's all surfing." Sounds like East Coast surf to me. And West Coast surf. Your contradictions are blaring and painful to read. Considering the waves finally got above 5 feet this weekend and you were left beached and unable to punch through the shorebreak, you must have had a lot of time to read up on well-written, sarcastic "surf journalism" from talented guys like Jed Smith, Chas Smith or Derek Rielly. Unfortunately, you fell miserably short and cooked up this awful attempt at humor. Do us all a favor and stick to what you know...which, um, is not much -- considering that you've got poor kids out there who read your post on airs trying to do "backside exclamation points." I've lived in Ca. for a long time but grew up on the East Coast and I can tell you you're just flat-out wrong...it's every bit as good as crowded, over-hyped Ca. Have you left Orange County? Newsflash: In order to write accurate pieces, you have to first know what you're talking about. You're writing is a long, uncomfortable skid mark on the yellowed underwear of surf journalism. Thanks for your continued effort at making us all look like hacks. --Andrew Lewis
SurferRob2010 wrote:
Dimebag, its called sarcasm. Just like this:
I disagree, this is a very worthy article from somebody who so obviously has years of experience and is extremely knowledgeable in the sport of surfing.
Now to be blunt:
Seeing as how ESPN is new to surf coverage, it would really be wise for them to have writers (for the surf section) who actually surf.
Based on Jake Howards articles and brief bio, he comes off as someone who isn't a true surfer, but as someone who is more about the hype. Someone who needs to build himself up while bringing others down in order to feel good about himself. It's more of a self esteem issue. Possibly resulting from being picked on in school, his weight problem, or not being encouraged as a child. It could actually result from anything.
Jake probably doesn't surf unless the waves are really glassy. He won't go out if it is small and definitely doesn't surf if it is big. He either rides a long board or there is a very small possibility that he may ride an oversized fish (but probably not, as this is more of an east coast board).
Of course, this is just speculation based on the vibe that he gives off. I could be wrong here.
This post is seriously ####. I've already wrote an article on it giving my stance. The waves are more frequent on the west coast, but the surfability is not as good as the east coast. I live in California. Been here for over a year. How much time have you spent in North Carolina or New Jersey? Most likely not much. You're just another #### bag bias surf editor who doesn't go outside of your little box in So Cal. Is there some kind of school for this ####?
So there was a big swell in California for the first time in ages. So what? There wasn't any one spot that was really that great. A bunch of places were just ok. Mostly closeouts and unfavorable winds along with morning and evening fog. A couple years ago in May Florida got a swell just as big as this one. South Beach was way better on that swell than anywhere in California on this swell (other than the Ranch where you can't surf anyway).
East Coast Envy? You are a clueless man Jake. This just backs up your horrendous feature on the names of grabs which were all wrong. On a roll aren't you? This is embarrassing for surf media.
natedawg2322 wrote:
You guys have the "best south swell anyone can remember" and all you can do is come up with six paragraphs mocking East Coasters? "East Coast #### Envy"???? Are those crickets that I hear? How does this guy write for ESPN? This well-constructed bit of prose contradicts everything surfing is about.
sammyb610 wrote:
dear jake howard,
have fun surfing with crowds and hating on the east coast. we are far from envious of you.
-east coast
p.s. proofread your stupid article; you do not know how to use a comma. 4th line from the bottom "Unfortunately for, you California and Hawaii...." (i'll forgive you, you are an "extreme sports" writer for a company that really does not give a #### about extreme sports)
kdubb82 wrote:
I can't believe I just wasted 2 minutes of my life reading this moronic drivel or even leaving a comment. Damn straight that's not a photo of the Outer Banks; it looks like the crowded, mushy line-up at "San-O" or Swamis. Or even worse, Del Mar.
Last time I checked, no legit East Coaster was concerned with California's opinion of our waves... or anything else for that matter. Our humble silence must be deafening. That's the only logical explanation for why you guys can't shut up about how golden your state is.
This pathetic excuse for an article forces me to bring attention to the fact that California's only hope for an ASP Champion is always in the longboard arena and that it took you 4 years to win the X Games.
Bottom line: East Coast Envy is a blaring oxymoron. Any Right Side transplants on the West Coast are wholly voluntary. And more importantly, temporary.
Gamma Ray 321 wrote:
A bunch of dudes watchin some idiots SUP the wedge, WOW must have been sick!
if you look closely at the shot of the wedge above you'll see a little fat man crushing a Tommy's cheeseburger, JAKE HOWARD??
"Lynyrd Skynyrd, Bruce Springsteen" Sugar Ray, Poison... yeah you guys are killing it out there..
...and that lineup of Trestles, are you ####ing kidding me?? Pussyville, USA
Keep your jeans tight BRO!!
GAMMA
Interesting to note that the vast majority of stories on their site doesn’t garner a single comment. Keep up the great work Disney. At least the trash your writers are producing is resulting in some hilarious responses from your readers.
